Anyway, the topic of discussion tonight is being a fighter. As I was sitting in my first economics class today I thought about this. While stats and benefits vs. costs spun through my mind, I had the idea of giving up. You know, the whole idea of running away and leading this fantastic life where nobody has a clue who I am and won't ask me to do anything that has to do with books. Great plan.. if I wanted to end up working at Walmart my entire life. Nothing against it, but you know. But then I reminded myself of something: I AM a fighter. I don't quit because things get hard. I don't back down. I focus all my energy on that one thing that I would just love to walk away from, because I know it's something worth pushing for. Now this sounds great, right? Like wow, congratulations because nobody cares, is what you're probably thinking. I have a point! Hang in there. While I am a fighter, in the sense that I don't let go and remain focused, it's not always the best thing. In fact, it's actually bad all on its own.
With people, school, work, and anything else in life for that matter, this is a recipe for disaster. Like hurricane Isaac disaster. Actually that's exactly what my life feels like when I do this. Consider this, Exodus 14:14 - "the Lord will fight for you; you need only be still." Now for control freaks like me, this is terrible news. Like who the hell wants to just sit still and meditate and think everything's going to be ok?! I mean I can totally handle losing people I love, moving into massive building of small closets for drama filled 18 year-olds, and rigorous college courses all on my own. No prob. Sit back and relax God 'cus I've got this shit handled. FAIL. I've decided that I can't anymore. So while still being a fighter, I've decided to fight my battles and then let them be. I'm going to give all of this another shot, because obviously me being a bull-dog works reeeeal well. I'm deciding to trust that my fight is enough, and that GOD will take it to the next level.
Now I'm sure you're all wondering where this came from. Way out of left field, trust me. But I mean Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over agin and expecting different results. People are going to be how they want and grades are going to be what they will be. It's not worth my sanity.This may or may not be right, but either way I don't want to be labeled insane (HA). Thus, I'm trying something else. Fighting a new fight.
Enough of that heavy boring stuff. Here is a picture of the absolute HIGHLIGHT of my day.
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